


Animal

by Lacrimosa (humanyubel)



Category: Digimon, Digimon Frontier
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Codependency, Digimon Frontier: The Train Known as Hope, Introspection, M/M, Minor Violence, Mutually Unrequited, Short One Shot, Underage Smoking, Unhealthy Relationships, What-If, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23475055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanyubel/pseuds/Lacrimosa
Summary: I'm asking nicely, give me what I want
Relationships: Kanbara Takuya/Minamoto Kouji
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	Animal

**Author's Note:**

> Don't romanticize this. This isn't a love story this is a tragedy.
> 
> Song title and inspiration from Sir Chloe's [Animal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-URGVmuYIQ).

The school’s rooftop is his own personal refuge. He’d charmed a teacher into giving him a copy of the keys. All too convenient that the aforementioned teacher was a soccer fanatic.

He’d use the resources allotted to him to their full extent.

Takuya takes a deep drag from his cigarette. Holding the smoke deep in his lungs for a dozen seconds before exhaling it in a steady stream. He watches the newly created white clouds drift overhead with a profound sense of nostalgia.

They’ll be graduating by the end of the month and after that, things will finally click. This was his last cigarette before life would change.

He can't keep indulging in his own vices while his dream drifts steadily closer.

His life is a train, the world his tracks. As his own conductor, he gets to decide where it’ll lead him.

And maybe the others don't know exactly what they wanted, everyone had been so… lost after that summer day.

Takuya, no matter how he wished otherwise, was a leader. And as with any good conductor, he knew which tracks his friends would take.

He’ll be going abroad to Italy for soccer and work his way up from Serie D. Kouichi will get into med school and become a top nurse. Izumi's harder to pinpoint- but she'll probably become a model and take life one intersection at a time. Tomoki will be class president and grow up to be a politician. Junpei will also be going to Italy, he’d wanted to be an entertainer since they were kids.

And Kouji?

He’ll travel. God knows where, but he’ll travel.

The thought of Kouji backpacking through Europe registered as something halfway between comedy gold and Shakespearean tragedy in Takuya’s mind. Sure he has a bit of a retractive personality, but… Kouji? Minamoto Kouji wandering around all by his lonesome?

Takuya has to laugh.

Takuya takes another puff from his cigarette as the door behind him creaks open. He doesn’t bother turning around to see who it is. The sound of his best friend’s soft footfalls unmistakable.

With any heaven, it makes sense that there is also a hell to balance it out. It just so happened this rooftop also acted as their very own little slice of hell.

“I thought you’d be up here,” he says in lieu of a proper greeting.

“Guessed right again.” Takuya feels his lips twist into something crooked.

“Still smoking?” Kouji leans against the protective chain link fence with him. His uniform tie secured in one of his belt loops.

Even when he was genuinely concerned, his words came out like a derisive accusation. Over the years his ability to make anything sound like an invitation to a fight had become more and more refined.

Takuya exhaled cigarette smoke from his nose, taking glee from Kouji’s unmasked disgust.

“Mhhm. You here to stop me?”

Kouji scowls, blue eyes meeting his for only a moment before his expression softens and he fixes his pout elsewhere.

What Kouji gets out of this, he’ll never know.

Sure Kouji likes men, it's no secret in their friend group, but does he really _like_ Takuya _like that_?

Takuya knows he can't answer the question himself if the tables are turned. And maybe that's part of the problem. He always expects Kouji to have the answers while he goes on ahead with his impulses.

Kouji is his number one and Takuya gets to call the shots. That works for them as far as Takuya could tell.

Kouji's one of the nicest guys he’s ever met. A bit standoffish, but that was more from social ineptitude than concentrated malice.

“Ah, I see.” Takuya puts his cigarette out and tucks the butt in a pouch he keeps in his left pocket.

"I'm asking nicely."

He only ever comes to Takuya when he knows he’ll be on the rooftop.

Honestly speaking, it's probably nothing more than a moment of weakness for both of them.

They’re on each other in the next moment. A clash of arms meant to cage in and the harsh click of teeth.

Kouji bites at his lower lip and the coppery taste of blood hits both their tongues at the same time. Together with the remnants of tobacco, it creates a truly repugnant flavor.  
Neither pulls back.

It’d be better to classify the exchange as a game of chicken than a true and proper kiss.

But Kouji relaxes in his arms, fist gripping his collar to keep him in place as he sucks Takuya's lower lip into his mouth.

Takuya tangles his hand in Kouji's hair and tugs.

Kouji's kisses turn sweeter, lingering where they'd ravaged only moments prior. And if anyone were to understand Takuya better than himself, it's Kouji.

Kouji kisses him like he's trying to say goodbye. Like he's saying sorry, all things come to an end. Like something else Takuya can't figure out.

Maybe if they were together again, as they were in the twilight of _That Summer Day_ , he could understand.

If they shared one body, one heart, one mind… everything could be fixed just as it had been last time.

It's pathetic, he’ll never admit to it, but for the supposed expert on Minamoto Kouji… yes he knows just about everything there was to know about Kouji. Unfortunately, however, none of it connected.

Kouji's a paint by the numbers project and Takuya has enough practice that he can almost decipher what he's looking at. If he just had the colors… But Kouji keeps them stashed away deep in his heart, untouched by even himself.

They unceremoniously part after several minutes. 

Takuya's lower lip throbs miserably, and Kouji's hair is tellingly disheveled. 

“You know, I kind of miss being able to see your forehead,” Takuya confesses, poking his index finger against Kouji’s bangs. “Though the braid does kinda suit you.”

Kouji slaps the offending hand away.

“It’s not like I want to hear _you_ saying something like that.”

After they graduate, who knows what will become of them and their relationship. It had long since outgrown any excuse of convenience and the unsavory aspects of it never left this rooftop. They couldn’t continue to stay locked in a steadfast stalemate.

The current state of affairs is another thing they'll eventually have to graduate from.

“We’re still on for this weekend?” Takuya calls out to Kouji’s retreating form. 

“Of course we are. Bring over your PS3.”

“Why can’t we just use yours? You let Kouichi borrow it again, huh?”

“...Maybe.”

Kouji loves with all his heart, but his bruised lip doesn't feel like love. It feels like a desperate plea.

It wasn't just he and Kouji against the world anymore, that hasn't been the case for years now.

Kouji leaves, the rooftop’s door swinging shut behind him. He always leaves before Takuya can, at least that will never change.

He reaches for his pack of cigarettes and places another between his lips.

He does not light it.

**Author's Note:**

> *cocks gun* this isn't koukou
> 
> **BAD END**


End file.
